Do you ever feel like a weirdo sometimes? Like, you don’t belong anywhere. I know millennials like me feel the same. Like we are unique. We are special. Nobody understands us.


Sorry-sorry, that’s not what I want to talk about.

Back again, I want to share something that I consider really weird about myself. The concept of a holiday. In the bigger picture maybe, the concept of a break. I never know how to take a break properly. Which is not good. Because I can’t find anything that will recharge me well if I feel burned out.

To some, their perfect break is to lock themselves in a room and play games all day. To some others, their perfect break is to travel to a new place. Err… I don’t enjoy these two options. My perfect break is literally to just doing nothing. Scrolling 9Gag until I found the last image I saw before. Or catching up on a new episode of my favorite TV series. Both of which will make me feel unproductive. I don’t get anything from doing it. At least, playing games and traveling give yourself a new experience (virtual or real, LOL).

So yeah, I don’t know why but I have this urge to still become productive in my break. I don’t know. Maybe I’m in an industry which what you learn today, somehow become obsolete tomorrow. The new things come, when you haven’t learned about the not-so-new thing.

And I feel jealous. Jealous to all my friends that post a new pic from their holiday. Doing things that totally not related to their job. I always ask myself,

“Doesn’t these guys feel afraid that they won’t be able to catch up to their work when they’re going back?”


I don’t know. Maybe this uneasy feeling I have is because I don’t take my college years seriously. Maybe if I studied harder back then, I would not feel worried because everything I learned in college will help me catch up easily.

Okay, you know what, I spent too many times writing this post. I should get back to feel worried about myself.




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